You consider yourself a ‘gentle parent,’ and try to follow positive parenting (aka gentle parenting) strategies.
Or you know a little about the parenting style and are wondering what else you can do to improve your skills.
All this so you can raise a good human.
But you may need to figure out where to start, which is understandable.
There’s so much positive parenting info nowadays, from podcasts and blog posts to that other mom at the park.
And while that is okay because it’s bringing more awareness to parents, it can be overwhelming.
Even with this information at your fingertips, how do you put it into practice with your kids?
Let me show you how with these 6 positive parenting tips.
So at the end of this post, you can put down your phone with confidence and hope that you can be a positive parent.
What’s positive parenting?
Positive parenting is about creating a warm, loving, healthy relationship with your child so they can grow into the best human being they can be.
Positive parenting focuses on mutual trust, respect, and communication.
It’s a newer term for authoritative parenting. You could also call positive parenting gentle parenting.
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6 positive parenting tips
My tips on positive parenting are to be quiet, speak up, and smile. I’ll explain this below.
It’s also helpful to reparent yourself, follow parenting experts on social media, and learn more about child development.
These things help you cultivate more compassion towards your child and develop a healthy and loving relationship with them, a core component of positive parenting.
1. Smile more
It’s easy to default to autopilot and shrug off your child when you’re attending to a jillion other things – or kids!
But a smile shows your kiddo how much you care about them. And that you’re happy to see them!
Plus, smiling reduces blood pressure, calms your nervous system, and decreases pain. Your child feels more connected to you, loved, heard, and seen.
In fact, smiles are a vital part of creating healthy relationships.
So smile at them when they greet you in the AM (oof, good thing it’s dark when mine wakes me up at 5 AM!) and give ’em a grin when they’re bursting with excitement to tell you a story, help you make dinner, or have something to ask.
Try to switch off Parent Autopilot mode.
I’m with you when you say it’s damn hard at times (perfection is unattainable) but it’ll pay off.
2. Be mindfully quiet
Seems simple, but it’s not. If you’re a parent, you already know this.
Think about how often you watch your child play and innocently interrupt them. (“Oh, that’s a great tower of Magna-Tiles!”)
Or you two talk over each other without hearing a single word of what the other is saying.
And I’m sure you’ve reacted out of habit to their spills, falls, and bazillion questions.
All hush-hush, please stop, tell me later, I don’t have time for this, yeah okay…
Been there. I still go there, but hey I’m human. And you are too.
But, remembering to be mindfully quiet and listen to them does wonders for your child’s confidence.
Wow, Mom thought my idea was awesome. I’m going to go make it now in my room!
3. Speak up
When you speak up for your child, it’s revolutionary for you. And for them, but they’re too young to see it.
Speaking up for your kid when you feel they’ve been wronged – even when you’ve wronged them – shows them you are their biggest supporter and advocate.
It’s a powerful feeling stepping up to speak up for your child if it wasn’t always the case for yourself growing up.
4. Reparent yourself
Another positive parenting tip is to reparent yourself.
Reparenting is learning how to give your inner self now what your childhood self needed.
Think unconditional love, no threats, and creating and upholding healthy boundaries.
To do this, you’ll have to look inward and work hard to change your habits and views.
You can start reparenting yourself by thinking about your childhood experiences and the people in them.
What happened, and how has the aftermath of those events trickled into your adulthood?
Examples of what you can reparent yourself on are:
- Giving unconditional love (i.e., not giving somebody the silent treatment or shutting down during an argument)
- Having healthy boundaries
- Not being responsible for adult’s (other’s) feelings
- Trust and respect
- Having the freedom to play and enjoy life
- The effects of growing up too fast
Some people grew up with emotionally immature caregivers who gave them the silent treatment when they made a mistake.
Some people grow up feeling responsible for their parent’s feelings and actions.
Many people are people-pleasers who can’t uphold a boundary and guilt themselves over enjoying their sliver of downtime or not being “busy enough.”
Reparenting takes a shit ton of inner work, but it’ll positively transform how you raise your children.
5. Learn from experts
Follow these helpful accounts for tons of tips on positive parenting:
- Shelly Robinson @raising_yourself
- Sarah Ockwell-Smith @sarahockwellsmith
- Mr. Chazz @mrchazz (you’ve probably seen his videos already!)
- Janet Lansbury @janetlansbury
I follow and love the content on every one of these accounts. I’m 99.99% sure you will too.
6. Learn about child development
Following the 4 accounts above will help you improve your positive parenting skills. They’ll help you better understand child development.
Being more knowledgeable about your child’s brain and body helps you level your expectations of them and be more compassionate.
Too often, we parents have the bar raised too high, and they’re not physically capable of doing what we ask of them.
For example, it’s very easy to get frustrated with your toddler when they touch the breakables on the shelf, but is it their fault when their brain has poor impulse control at this age?
Self-control typically starts to happen 3.5 – 4; even then, it’s limited.
Alas, you are an adult with a mature brain, so it’s up to you to “know better” and be understanding and compassionate to your little bubster.
Your takeaway
You now have 6 positive parenting tips you can start implementing today that’ll make you a better parent and improve your relationship with your child.
A parent who’s more confident and compassionate.
A great starting point is to smile more often at your child. Remember to be more intentional when you listen to them and hold your interruptions.
In addition, speak up for them when they need it. Lastly, follow helpful parenting-related accounts to learn more about child development.
What do you think about these tips for positive parenting? I’m inquisitive if you’re into reparenting yourself.
How’s that going? Because I personally know it’s hard work!
P.S. If you’re looking for more positive parenting how-to, read this post.
