Dumb people will say dumb things.
By dumb I mean uncompassionate assholes.
They’re out there. You may even run into a few of them in one day, or be lucky enough to have one in the family or in close quarters at work.
Jerk.
Because there are misconceptions of Fibromyalgia and stigmas about the chronic condition.
Many people say what they think. If only they knew how wrong they were. Or how little of a piece of the whole picture they have.
They just don’t know what you do.
So if you’re feeling very invalidated over how you’re feeling today (is it a flare day?), here are 10 common misconceptions people have about Fibromyalgia – and why they’re wrong.
Common misconceptions of Fibromyalgia that dumb people think
You’ve probably heard or been told one or more of these common misconceptions about Fibromyalgia:
- it’s all in your head
- people with fibro are lazy
- people with fibro are wussies
- we’re difficult to work with
- we’re faking it
- when we can do one thing today and then we must be able to do it tomorrow, no problem
- fibromyalgia doesn’t exist
- you sleep all day
- yoga is some magic cure-all
- you’re doomed for life
Here are my thoughts on these annoying misbeliefs.
1. That it’s “all in your head”
Have you ever found this sentiment helpful? Me neither. It’s a load of bullcrap on top of the horse shit your body feels like.
Like, why would I torture myself and make this up?
Oh, attention they say, huh?
It’s like simply existing with your pain is a cry for attention.
You don’t want attention, you want to feel good again.
If only people could shut up and understand that.
2. That people with Fibromyalgia are lazy
We are not lazy – we have extreme bouts of extreme fatigue.
Fatigue that makes our bodies heavy and weak. Movement is hard and painful.
No matter how much we want to get out of bed and can’t…
No matter how much we want to make dinner and can’t…
No matter how much we sleep, or delay, or cancel…we are not lazy.
We are going at the pace determined by our body that day.
Sometimes, we cannot choose our pace.
3. That people with Fibro are wussies
A finger press may make my arm radiate pain for the next three minutes and I get way more worked up and teary when I’m overstimulated – but I am not a wussie.
We are not pathetic beings trapped in a tortuous body, despite what we tell ourselves. (I’ve had many embarrassing moments when the pain was too much while around people, and I don’t like the ways I’ve behaved)
Our bodies have a lower pain threshold, tis all.
It’s easy to feel like a wuss when the smallest things hurt real bad. It’s like our bodies swapped out minorly painful for majorly painful, and a “normal” person just can’t understand that.
But we are not wussies.
4. That we can be difficult to work with
There’s a stigma in the workforce about chronic pain: that people with it are needy and annoying because they can need accommodations, like standing breaks or sitting breaks (or like when I worked at a pizza joint, I used a hair net instead of a visor because the hat made my scalp extra sore).
But people with Fibromyalgia aren’t difficult to work. It’s just that that person is an inconsiderate asshole.
5. That we're faking
Fibromyalgia can’t be seen, so we may look quite “well” even if we feel the polar opposite.
“How can it be that bad?” people wonder, “You don’t look sick. You’re faking.”
If only you had a nickel for every time that was said to you, right?
You know you’re not faking it.
I know you’re not faking it.
There’s a whole bunch of people who know you’re not faking it because we understand it too.
6. That doing one thing one day means you can do it forever
If we can do something one day, it must mean we can do it again with no problem the next day, and the next…as if suddenly, life is rainbows and butterflies.
Wrong. Totally wrong.
Anyone with Fibromyalgia who has gone on a cleaning or cooking binge knows just because your body gives you the green light one day does not mean you’ll get a pass on additional aches and pains the next.
It usually means you’ve got a one-way ticket to Further Hell, though. Enjoy.
(If that’s where you’re at today, maybe one of these easy hacks will help you.)
7. That Fibro doesn't exist
Some people do not believe that Fibromyalgia exists, i.e. family members see you “well” (after expecting to see something akin to a terminal cancer patient), so they deem your condition unacceptable and fake.
Oh, how helpful for you.
8. We sleep all day
Well…only some days. Many days we cannot afford to sleep all day, because of work, kids, and everything else.
There are some periods where we do mostly sleep if we’re lucky enough to have a supportive partner or resources that allow us to do so. But we don’t sleep all day every day. We may eat, take a shower, watch TV…things “normal” people do too.
9. That yoga will fix it
Cue eyerolls.
I enjoy yoga but no way am I going to assume it’s a cure-all for Fibromyalgia and aggressively recommend it to others.
Yoga’s a good stretch, but it won’t cure the bone-deep ache, irritation, and sleepiness that’s melded into your body.
I wish non-chronically ill people would stop recommending it under the guise of an exercise cure-all. And as if we haven’t already tried something so simple (or routinely do it, like myself).
10. That you're doomed for life
This one is more for the people who have Fibromyalgia.
Read: you are not doomed for a life of unrelenting pain and misery.
It 100% feels that way at certain times, 100%.
But Fibro is not a complete case of being buried alive.
My experience tells me that there are many pockets of time where pain is minimal, that life is good. Manageable. Flexible.
A learning curve that flies off the calculator.
Do not fool yourself into thinking that only bad days are ahead.
You will learn how to live a fuller life with your Fibromyalgia if you keep attuning yourself to your body.
Your takeaway
Common misconceptions of Fibromyalgia include that we’re lazy, have yet to try yoga, and we’re making it all up. Those tend to be from non-chronically ill people.
One common misconception about Fibromyalgia amongst folks who have FM is that you’re doomed for life. You are very, very, not.
Any skewed perception you’d like to add? Let it rip in the comments below.
